…no, not Pigsworth but the pub! Come on to the terrace; it’s beautiful in the evening sun. Cook Old has excelled herself, so help yourselves to canapes, and just say what you would like to drink; we have most things, from soft drinks – including some home-made lemonade – to wine to Pimms to – well, whatever, really.
Lawnder Hall, Much Grumbling in the Wolds 
Oh, quite a few here already, although no-one I know, so far. Are you expecting a good turn-out, Lady G?
I hope so, Sylvie. I’ve asked Kyle to come up this evening to serve drinks – Kyle, can you come over and see what Sylvie would like to drink? And do help yourself to canapes; I’m not sure that even I know what they all are but Cook Old was certainly intent on excelling herself.
Malcolm and Maggie Mason, from the garage are here, they gave me a lift. His mother is babysitting Magnus, and his father is looking after the village.
A Pimms would be delightful, please Kyle, and I see Malcolm headed this way looking thirsty .
Hello Lady G, Sylvie … and Malcolm. Phew – what a day -, I’m pooped! Hi Kyle. A bucket of Pimms please. I’ll just sit here on the steps… ooh! Can I borrow a cushion from that lounger?
Good evening Maddie. My goodness, you’ve caught the sun today! And I think you’ve made rather a good job of the long border – it’s beautiful at the moment.
Good evening Malcolm, do just tell Kyle what you and Maggie would like to drink. It’s good to see you both here.
Hello Sylvie, I thought I would be late, but there are still cars coming up the drive. Mr and Mrs Noakes are both here, so they must have shut the shop early – or left Neville in charge, I can’t see him!
I’ll just catch Kyle’s eye and get drinks for me and Mr Clarke. I’ll see you later.
Good evening, Sheila. After your ministrations with coffee this morning, it’s rather nice to be able to return the favour. Ah, I see you have Kyle looking after you; that’s good. Do help yourself to canapes.
Oh, hello Sheila – the Pimms is very good, although maybe that’s not Mr Clarke’s tipple?
I’m sure Kyle will have something suitable.
Hello Maddie – had to water again? I’m quite pleased to be done with the tyranny of the hose and watering can this year. I expect i will be up to my eyes in thirsty plant pots next year ‘though.
Yep! The most summery day of the summer so far. We’ve had the watering system on the borders for the first time too…. In fact they’re still on, so if you leave via the garden later I’d avoid the herbaceous – those irrigation heads can be a bit unpredictable. I’ve been quite glad of the sun to dry my shorts out more than once today…
Hallo ladies, sorry I’m a bit late. Could I have a Pimms, please, Kyle? How is everyone?
Good evening, Lissa, good to see you. And no need to worry, you’re not last. Once everyone has a drink and Rosie and Bramble are here, we’ll get under way.
Hi Lissa – it’s been ages! How are you? ….I’ve seen you in the distance a few times recently, but you always looked miles away and I didn’t like to interrupt. ….I was wondering…….
Hello Lissa, I’m fine thank you – and yourself?
Well, thanks – trying to do too many things in a day, but that’s life!
Hello everyone! I do apologise for arriving late. We have family who’ve descended unexpectedly, so I had to cook dinner for them.. Fortunately, being family we can just leave them to put the child to bed and look after themselves.
It’s lovely here on the terrace – I don’t know how long it’ll be before we have to adjourn indoors though. Quite a good turnout!
Good evening Rosie, nice to see you. Kyle will get you whatever you’d like to drink. Yes, the turnout’s rather pleasing.
Do you know, Godiva, I think I’d prefer a cordial or other soft drink. Enough wine with dinner.
There’s elderflower or rose cordial – how appropriate! – or various soft drinks. Kyle, will you look after Rosie, please?
(Taps loudly on lead crystal glass). Most of us seem to be here now, so shall we get started? I think it’s fair to say we were all at the very least shocked by the closure of the Porker. At its best, it was a wonderful place to meet people, talk, catch up, and have some delicious meals an hilarious quizzes. Sadly that ended last week, so we’re here to talk about what we can all do to ensure we still have a pub in the village. I think our options are a village buy-out; an outsider buys it; anyone in the village who’s interested buys it. Does anyone have any ideas or other options?
I really think that a village buy-out would be democratic and fun. Finding the funds is another matter
Godiva, Bramble is locked out at the moment – could you let him in please?
Oh I’m so sorry – it must be the electronic gates! I’ll sort it out at once.
It’s all right – he got himself in a tangle – I think he’s on his way in now!
Oh good. The gates shouldn’t have been shut yet.
I think Rosie is right about a village buy-out being the best option for the locals. If an outsider buys it, they could do anything with it. I’ve heard of so many village pubs being turned into restaurants, with ordinary villagers being firmly discouraged from dropping in for a drink.
Unless, of course, there is a local individual who would like to take it on?
I don’t know of one; does anyone else? And I agree with Rosie that a village buy-out would be great fun. Of course, funds would be an issue, but we could talk about that. I’m sure Fred could be persuaded to help a little!
I agree – there was something on the radio a few weeks ago about a v successful buyout. Villagers bought shares and the shortfall was paid by an anonymous resident. They’re doing well enough to employ someone behind the bar and everyone helps. It’s used for meetings, quizzes and community things and after only a year – I think – they’ve done well enough to pay a dividend!
So who do we know around here with lots of dosh. I’ll buy a share, but I’m not loaded…
I think it’s crucial that it’s taken over by people in the village – but times are hard and not many people have cash to spare. That’s not to say that villagers couldn’t buy a few shares – they’d still have a say in the development of the place.
As you say, Godiva, Sir Fred isn’t short of a penny is he? Rosie and I have just sold the London flat and the Kids’ Holidays charity have come up with the last payment on the Cotswold place. This means we could afford a sizeable chunk of the readies.
I think the principle of a village takeover is excellent. Does anyone have any idea what it would involve in practical terms? Financially, legally, practically?
I mean, for instance, how much would we need in total?
If we go down that route I think it is important that everyone in the village should be able to buy shares if they wish, so would we be able to make a really small share holding available?
On the whole, I think we all have a pretty good idea of what we want for our ‘local’. The more we put into it in the way of making it attractive and welcoming, the better our shares will do. It would be hugely enjoyable getting it off the ground too.
First things first though Lissa. We need an idea of what sort of price we could get it for. I had a chat with Henry Pannick. They’ve instructions to sell it fast for whatever they can get. The receivers aren’t picky.
It’s good to hear the murmurs of assent from those here. Should we make a more formal decision to look into the ins and outs of a village buy-out? Starting with the asking price, I suppose – unless we already have that?
Sorry Mr Bramble, should have waited my turn.
Did Mr Pannick say they are waiting for offers, or taking it to auction?
I’m all for a village buy-out, and for making shares available to everyone. I think shared ownership creates a sense of community and brings people in to support it. Bramble, did you get an idea of price?
Cheap, Sylvie. Knock down price. I also had our builders poke about with Pannick. They made awful noises – you know, sucking in their teeth, pointing at rot, sighing deeply.
In fact, there’s nothing wrong with the place in structural terms – it just needs a refit and a lot of redecoration.
Well, there are a lot of skilled people in the village, not to mention those able to do a bit of unskilled labouring, and if most of the village were shareholders then they would probably muck in with any work within their capabilities.
I think you’re right, Sylvie.
I suggest that we issue shares for £100 each. That’s the price of a premium bond isn’t it? We allow a period of time for people to come up with the money to buy one share or 100 shares – whatever they can afford. When the share issue dries up, Fred and Godiva and Rosie and I simply cough up the balance.
Bramble, I think that’s a very smart idea. I also think we probably need some kind of committee to pull it all together – I’d like to propose you as chair!
How about we get SG&R to draw up a share prospectus? I’m sure you can twist Gus Grabbit’s arm to do it for the community, Lady G… after all, they need to work on the PR side of things … and then we could put a copy through every letterbox in the Parish and see how many takers we get. Looking around here, it shouldn’t be hard to collect a good enough… umm… whack…
I’m happy to use my – ahem – influence with Gus. Yes, I can get on with that tomorrow if we’re all agreed I should?
Marvellous …. we should have this sorted in no time…
I don’t think I’ve been quite so excited by a project for a long time!..Kyle, would you check on drinks, please?
[sotto voce] The less said about your ‘influence’ over Gus Grabbit the better, Godiva…
(even more sotto) I should say so!
Are we going to confine share-holdings to local residents, or invite people from further afield to join in? We’ll have an awful lot of shares to sell, and not many of the villagers will be able to buy more than a few.
How far afield were you thinking, Sylvie? Obviously I was including Much Muttering, but I don’t see why we shouldn’t extend to Ditchworth and Less Fiddling.
I’m rather excited by the prospect of this project now! As you say, Sylvie, there’s plenty of expertise on many fronts, here in the village.
I’m no businessman but I know where to get the advice (free, usually!). We all know how a good pub feels – like the Porker in the old days, at its best. We can find handymen and women, curtain makers, furniture restorers, gardeners, interior decorators… I know we’ll all rise to the challenge.
Well. I was thinking of some friends in Leerhampton – ones that used to come over here with Albie and Pippa. They did like The Porker, and the village. I was just thinking that having an interest in the pub might bring them over here as customers?
I think that , if it’s legal, we could limit the number of shares that a non-resident could buy to make sure the majority shareholding is always with village residents.
That sounds like a good idea, Sylvie, and I agree that spreading the shares could well bring in more business.
I’ll look into that Sylvie. I believe that we could set up a Limited Company with several of us a Directors. We could then approve the allocation of shares. We don’t want Rupert Murdoch getting a majority shareholding do we!
I’ll put my hand up now, as curtain-maker. And I have ‘contacts’ who would provide me with furnishing fabrics at cost.
Well I think your services are certainly booked, Sylvie!
Oh, I think we should offer shares to anyone in the Wolds villages. It’s a lovely traditional village pub after all. Most people would hate to have yet another one disappear. The Whistler is struggling too isn’t it? There could be people in Castle Falling, even, who like to come out of town on a summer’s evening or at the weekend, who’d be happy to be a part of it. What do the rest of you think though?
I think that as a project for the village it is wonderful – but the numbers will have to stack up.
And we need someone used to dealing with finance, and who knows something about setting up this kind of enterprise. It’s right outside anything I’ve ever done.
Just a thought – can we set up a charitable trust to do this?
No, Sylvie. A load of hassle. We’ll set up a Ltd Co – I’m sure that’ll do it. I’ll chat with our accountant tomorrow. Directors can be you, Godiva, Lissa, Maddie and Rosie. I’ll be company secretary (there has to be one!). This will be simply to oversee the share allocations, to keep Murdoch out! No doubt things will alter once shares are all sold. Then a shareholders’ meeting to vote for the next stage.
I think we’ve already decided to cast the net fairly wide within the region, Rosie. You were gossiping with Godiva and you weren’t listening as usual.
Ooooh. I do beg your pardon, Bramble!
What do we think about the feel of it? Do we want to go for any ‘look’ in particular? I’d say we should keep the fireplace, and the Chesterfield(s) at least…. Sorry, being tempted by the fun bit before we’ve finished the business end!
I know, Lissa – I’m already visualising it! It’s so tempting isn’t it?
And we should be sure to ask Fliss’s opinion – shame she’s not here tonight – to get some ‘youth’ input!
I’m sure I saw her earlier… .. I thought she might be here tonight… She’s v quick, though, so she’ll pick it up… [ ..duh! … things are very slow over here on the steps … a bit like my brain…]
[By the way, has anyone else got the time coming up oddly? It seems to be showing an hour earlier than it is…]
Oh Lord, forgot to wind the clocks again. Hold on…
😀
Thank God! I thought it was just me! Well spotted, Lißa….. :o)
There, that should’ve done it!
Yes, magic!
I’ve never seen anyone wind a clock so quickly!
😉
There’s one or two places around the village whose clocks are still an hour behind. As we are already half way through BST, maybe we should just leave them until the end of October, when they’ll be right again 😉
So are we agreed? Rosie will talk to her accountant tomorrow, I’ll talk to Gus Grabbit, and Bramble’s chair of our Committee?
So, what do we all think then? Tomorrow, Bramble gets accountant’s advice and has a serious chat with Pannick to find the Receivers’ bottom line. Godiva tries to find Sir Fred, meanwhile working her charms on Gus Grabbit. The rest of us wait to see what the next stage is likely to be as a result of those meetings. What do you think Godiva? Should we meet again after we have some answers?
Sounds good to me…
Great minds, Rosie (well nearly!). I do think we need to meet again; I’ve just run into a problem as I have a friend in Wales at the moment – oh, cut a long story short I’ll now be away for about a week from Saturday. I’ll look in if I can, but I may not be able to even electronically – very poor signals and connections there. If you choose to meet in the meantime, I feel our thinking is very close, so do go ahead without me.
Sorry to talk through you there Godiva!
Do we need a show of hands? There haven’t been any dissenting voices, but it might be best to get some tangible form of agreement from the assembled company before just going ahead.
My hand’s raised!
Not for the first time!
I heard that!
Bramble!
I think we should have another drink to toast our progress so far 😉
Kyle!
That’s a very good idea Lissa. Cheers! Cheers everybody!
It’s almost the whole room in agreement. Do we need to count?
I’m not sure I’m capable now, Sylvie! Cheers!
Cheers, everyone!
Oh and yes, raising my hand, my glass, my hat if I had one!
I don’t see any glum faces in the room so I assume we have general assent from all those here. Does anyone want a show of hands or shall we proceed as we agreed?
As agreed, I think, Bramble.
If you’ll excuse me, darlings, I need to make a few arrangements because of departing on Saturday. Stay as long as you’d like; Kyle will be here and if you need anything else, Cook Old is in the kitchen (and the bloody pig’s outside!). Thank you for an excellent meeting; good night, everyone!
When we have something more to go on, will you call another meeting here then, Godiva? You’ve been so hospitable this evening, thank you.
Everyone, please raise your glasses to Lady G in thanks for looking after us all so well and making this village meeting into a social event too! Cheers!
I’d be happy to, if you don’t need to meet before I return. It’s been a pleasure to have you all here. Feel free to stay; I really must make some calls before everyone’s in bed. Good night!
Goodnight Godiva – we must make tracks. Good night all!
Goodnight everyone! I’m driving, Bramble. Goodnight!
Goodnight everyone. I’m coming, Malcolm, Maggie. Sorry if I’ve kept you waiting
So what did you think…?.
Good meeting. Night all!
Night all! Thanks for having us, Godiva.
It’s going to be interesting to hear what’s said about this in POAGS, and Coffee Corner tomorrow.
Good night all!
Just came to say hello, hope everything works out well